#1 Self Discipline
How to master the Art of Self-Discipline:
So we’re here to talk about self-discipline, but why? Self-discipline isn’t fun or exciting. It’s not even really a thing, is it? But self-discipline is at the heart of almost any goal we want to achieve.
Here’s the truth . If you’re reading about a fast and easy method to achieve anything, you’re probably not getting the whole story. Anything that’s worth takes time, from losing weight to saving money, to career success to building a business.
In this article I relied on Altman’s Book “ How to master the art of self-discipline “ to provide those extremely useful information. he introduced 9 principales that through them you can create a plan to achieve your goal starting with the foundation step.
Please, scroll down and read more.
PRINCIPLE #1: BELIEVE that it IS Possible to Develop Self-Discipline and Achieve Your Goal
For the purpose of achieving a goal, the first and most important element that determines your results is the BELIEF that you can make the required behavioral changes to reach that aim.
If you have any suspicions, your subconscious conversation will tend to convince you that it’s not possible. And probably you have already experienced such thoughts in the past, as have we all. This detrimental internal dialogue is especially powerful when you’re at your most vulnerable situation.
This first principle focuses on our belief around the notion of change of any kind.
The human brain is changing every second, it responds to the external environment, as we think, as we react, as we imagine things and we as we learn. As Human beings, we have the power to change the way our brain thinks. We have the ability to change the way we think, and it is proven scientifically.
From a physiological and neurological standpoint, we have the ability to make fundamental changes to the way we think. And if we can change the way we think, we can change the way we behave. We have the ability to change our behaviors, and therefore, we have more control over our destiny than we ever realized.
Numerous ask this kind of question: “ I know my brain can change, fine. But that’s just a general concept. If I’ve never been able to keep a routine before, how realistic is it that I can develop self-discipline now? “. The answer is, “Very realistic”.
To elucidate more, let’s use Martin Seligman study about what makes people happy and fulfilled, what contributes to their feeling of well-being.
He undertook a search about people of all ages all over the world, from different cultures and countries. and found that all human beings, no matter who they are or where they’re from, possess 24 strengths.
And the ranking of the three to five top strengths that a human being access naturally in his daily life creates the only difference between a person and another.
The world-renowned American psychologist, explained that even a strength isn’t at the top of our list, we develop it through focusing on it.
So, you see, even if you don’t feel like you do, you have the human potential to self regulate.
Even though you may not FEEL as though it’s possible, science shows that you absolutely can develop self-discipline.
Take-Away #1 – BELIEVE: In order to develop the self-discipline you need to achieve your goals and dreams, you must BELIEVE that you can. If you need more proof, take some time to research more about the brain. Believing that you can is the foundational step in the process that keeps you on track long term.
PRINCIPLE #2: Harness the Power of the Compound Effect by Developing Healthy Habits.
Small steps that seem insignificant on their own have significant impact when added up over time. You don’t realize this until you look back at the compound effect. Small dividends do pay off. We may not realize it day by day, at the moment. But the rule of the compound effect is operating silently whether we recognize it or not.
It’s this invisible. Think of a plant for example, you plant a seed and you water it for days, weeks, maybe even months. You get impatient and wonder, is this thing ever gonna grow??? And then one day, unbeknownst to you, you see that little sprout pushing through. What you didn’t see are all the little roots growing under the surface, out of sight down below. But there’s a whole ecosystem underneath working its magic whether you see it or not.
Anything we do consistently over time will have a result. If we want to intentionally create the results we want, we do things consistently, whether we can “see” results or not.
As human beings, to do things consistently, we create habits. You may be thinking, “Well I have plenty of habits, some good, some not so good, but I don’t have to think about them, they’re just there and they come naturally.
Changing habits or installing new ones is easier said than done.” There’s definitely truth to this. You see, our brains are basically habit-making machines. In fact, we couldn’t function in society without habits. And while habit-making is largely a subconscious task we pay little or no attention to, we have the ability to manipulate our brains to adopt the habits that will help us achieve our goals. To do this, let’s look at how habits are formed by learning about the brain’s memory system.
Your brain’s subconscious is incredibly vast – in fact, we don’t even have a handle on how much capacity the brain’s subconscious has, but for the purposes of this exercise, think of it as the size of all the water in the ocean. Now imagine your conscious memory, how much volume of water do you think it represents? In comparison to the vastness of the water in the ocean, your brain’s conscious capacity is roughly the volume of an eight ounce glass of water. Yes, I’m serious. Your conscious brain has this teeny weeny memory capacity of a cup compared to your subconscious, which has the capacity of all the water in the ocean. That’s why the brain’s natural function is geared to using the little eight ounce cup for immediate needs and urgences, and why its natural desire is to move other important memories to the subconscious. Anything we do repetitively eventually makes its way to the subconscious because it’s a more economical way for the brain to use its memory. When memory moves to the “ocean” of our subconscious, it becomes more automatic and permanent. The subconscious sends signals to us so that we can complete those repetitive tasks during the day, and that’s how we’re able to function at the high levels that we do. In other words, our brains are NOT wired to retain information in our consciousness. Our brains are wired to create habits.
The thing is, virtually everything you do during the day requires no thought at all but just gets done - brushing your teeth, as an example. Can you imagine if you actually had to think about how to brush your teeth? Pick up the tooth brush with the bristle side up. Reach your hand to the toothpaste, remove the cap, turn the tube upside down toward the bristles on the toothbrush and squeeze…. etc. etc.
Now, think of what kind of energy it would take if you had to think about almost everything you accomplish in a day, all the complexity: get dressed, make breakfast, drive to work (as you talk on your hands free mobile phone), etc. etc. What we do on a daily basis is so unbelievably complex that the only way we could possibly get it all done is for our subconscious to be working on automatic pilot! Think about it this way – if you meet someone today and they give you their phone number verbally, and if you call them 20 times over the next 24 hours, and then another 20 times tomorrow, and again and again, then eventually, you won’t even be thinking of the numbers at all when you dial, you’ll just be tapping away with your fingers and you’ll reach them. But if they give you their number verbally and you don’t call them, you probably won’t remember their number tomorrow and the memory will vanish from your consciousness, never having made its way to your subconscious. If you stop and think about all the habits that make up what you do every day, from brushing your teeth, to drinking coffee, to what you do when we arrive at work, to how you act and react to people and situations, to the words you use, the things you say, to what you do at home after work and everything in between, you’ll see that the lion’s share of what you do is ALL habit triggered by external cues, for better or for worse, that is.
In fact, only 2% of our brain is designed to retain memory in our consciousness. The rest is all subconscious. The brain WANTS to create habits so that we’re not required to use up conscious effort. It only follows then that performance is achieved not by what our conscious mind tells us, but largely through the subconscious cues that guide us throughout our day.
One of the best real life examples of the dangers of habit creation was depicted in the recent movie, The Wolf of Wall Street.
It’s based on the true story of Jordan Belfort, a New York stockbroker who ran a firm that engaged in securities fraud and corruption on Wall Street in the 1990s, and ended up spending years in jail. It’s a cautionary tale, and in a stunning interview with Piers Morgan on CNN, Belfort explains how a young man raised in a typical middle class home, with good family values, could turn into such a criminal. He says, “You don’t lose your soul all at once, you lose it a little bit at a time, incrementally. When I lost my ethical way it did not start off that way. It’s like these tiny imperceptible steps over the line. Each time your line of morality moves a bit, and before you know it you’re doing things you thought you would never do and it seems perfectly okay. What seems amazing first becomes commonplace after a period of time and you become numb. Day one it’s one thing, and a year later it’s completely off the rails.”
Belfort’s story is a perfect illustration of doing something repetitively that may seem innocuous, but that over time turns into habit, which turns into your impact on the world around you, and then especially turns into who you become, for better or for worse. 17 The more consistently we do something healthy and positive, the more we exercise our brain, the more chance our brain has of storing this activity into memory and feeding it to us subconsciously as needed – and that’s when it becomes natural and automatic, and triggers the compound effect. So even though the brain isn’t technically a muscle, when it comes to habits, it acts like one.
anything you do repetitiously over time will have an impact, positive or negative. Repetition turns into habit, habit turns into impact, and impact compounds into who you become.
If you want to install a new habit, it’s like creating new tracks in the snow. It might be hard the first few go rounds as you create those tracks, but soon enough, they’ll become as deep and wide and then it’ll be smooth sailing through the tracks. The more you repeat behavior the deeper and wider the tracks become.
And if you want to uninstall a habit… what do you think you do? Well, all you’d do is not go on those deep wide tracks anymore. Eventually, it’ll snow, the wind will blow gusts of snow onto the old tracks and soon enough, those deep, wide tracks will disappear, while you keep treading through the new ones.
So now it’s time for you to think about your habits.
Take-Away #2 – COMMIT TO SMALL, INCREMENTAL STEPS: The Compound Effect shows us that we need not set extreme, out-of reach practices in order to have success. Smaller, incremental efforts add up quickly to become healthy habits. It is more important to commit to smaller and more consistent practices than to set the bar so high that you fall off and never get back up. Be specific about the habits that will help you reach your goal. Be specific about the habits that hinder you from reaching your goal. Rank them in order of priority, and choose one to focus on until you install it as a new habit or uninstall an old one.
PRINCIPLE #3: Develop True Grit to Step Outside Your Comfort Zone and Sustain Your Effort
There’s a wonderful young American Psychologist named Angela Lee Duckworth. She’s a Harvard University graduate with a B.A. in Neurobiology, and a Ph.D. in Psychology. She works at the University of Pennsylvania, performing studies on the predictors of both academic and professional success. Back in April of 2013, she did a ground-breaking TED talk which garnered over 5 million views. In it, she explains that her studies show that success is not determined by a person’s intelligence, and it’s not achieved by taking the easy road. She says that the key predictor for success according to her research shows that grit is the most important factor. She defines grit as passion and perseverance for very long term goals, grit is having stamina, grit is sticking with your future, day in day out, not just for the week, not just for the month, but for years, and working really hard to make that future a reality. Grit is living life like it’s a marathon, not a sprint. Now, we all know that keeping anything up for a long period of time, even things we like, can be very challenging. After all, anything we do a lot of can become boring, tasteless, slow and tedious. And especially if it takes time to see results, it’s hard to be patient. If you’re looking to learn a new skill like public speaking for example, or trying to change a behavior like listening, or committing to working out more, what are your expectations around when you’ll start to see results? What kind of benchmarks have you set for yourself, are they reasonable, are they fair? Are you comparing yourself to others? It’s important to set reasonable expectations at the outset so that you don’t get disappointed or discouraged.
Take-Away #3 – DEVELOP GRIT : There’s a misconception about pleasure and pain. Expect and accept that it will feel uncomfortable, and that’s actually a good thing. Set realistic expectations and prepare to work hard. It takes stepping into your discomfort zone and true grit to achieve anything of import. It means you’re challenging yourself to achieve your full potential.
PRINCIPLE #4: Take Charge of Your Inner Critic - Manage the Conversation in Your Head
An athletic maxim says that sports are 90 per cent mental and 10 per cent physical. That’s why the conversation in our head is so critical to success in any endeavor. There’s a sports psychologist named Antonis Hatzigeorgiadis who performed studies with his colleagues and found that Instructional and motivation self-talk in particular give athletes a leg up on the competition.
Instructional self-talk (”Keep your leg straight,” “Use your core strength here”) helped athletes to improve specific techniques or skills, while motivational self-talk (”You know you can do this!”) helped them to succeed in strength and endurance-based tasks. That’s why language is also so important. Former Olympic gold medal-winning decathlon runner Bruce Jenner once said, “You have to train your mind like you train your body.”
What we say to ourselves, even silently, can have a huge impact on how we react and behave, and consequently, on our results.
Take-Away #4 – MANAGE YOUR INNER DIALOGUE :The conversation in your head determines your success. Identify what your inner critic is saying, and then consciously develop a more positive dialogue that will encourage you to persevere. Consider writing a script that includes specific directives and encouragements to help you stay on track, especially during the challenging moments.
PRINCIPLE #5: Manage Your Energy with Proper Self Care
In order to maintain self-discipline and self-control over time, it takes energy. With everything we’ve got going in life - all our priorities, work, kids, family, other responsibilities, how can we manage that energy?
There’s a Professor of Psychology at Florida State University in Tallahassee, Florida named Roy F. Baumeister, who is a highly cited researcher. He is a social psychologist known for his work on the self, social rejection, self-control, self-esteem, self-defeating behaviors and motivation. He has authored 500 publications and has written, cowritten, or edited almost 30 books. In 2011, he released research on selfcontrol, choice, decision making and willpower. He investigated how people regulate their emotions, resist temptation, break bad habits, and perform up to their potential -- and why they often fail to do so. Related work shows how stressful and draining it can be to make choices. What Baumeister found is that we as humans only have a finite amount of willpower to use, and it is used across ALL decisions, not just diet, or just exercise, but even the decision to override one thought and replace it with another.
In other words, just because we didn’t have to resist a doughnut today, if we had to make decision after decision all day long, from how to dress in the morning to how to deal with a crisis at work, and everything in between, then at some point, we lose all ability to make decisions or exert self control, or stave off temptation across the board. At the end of the day, we’re literally left completely devoid and depleted of the wherewithal to self regulate over anything.
Baumeister coined the term Ego depletion to refer to the idea that self-control or willpower draw upon a limited pool of mental resources that can be used up. Here’s what it feels like when you’re suffering from ego depletion:
Often, there’s no ‘signature feeling’
Strong behavioural effects
Some reluctance to tackle difficult things
Sometimes different than “tired” (but usually not)
Intensification of all emotions, desire (turns up the volume on life!)
What if we come to the end of the day and we’re depleted, but we actually aren’t done, we still have a few hours of work or activity left to go? That would mean we’d have to find a way to increase our energy, or more specifically our ego depletion, wouldn’t it?
Well, in fact Baumeister’s study shows that this is possible. He found that glucose is the physiological basis for willpower. Not sugar, but glucose, as our energy supply. As you exert self control you’re using up your glucose in the bloodstream, which then takes time to resupply. How can you supplement your glucose levels? Well, it’s something you already know. Sleep, diet and exercise feed and replenish your glucose levels.
And finally, with regard to practice, as mentioned earlier studies show that the brain is like a muscle. We all have the capacity to exercise and build it. The more we use our brain, the stronger it becomes. So, if we practice using our brain, we build our brain capacity, which increases our glucose and capacity to self-regulate.
Take-Away #5 – TAKE CARE OF YOUR HEALTH WITH SLEEP, DIET, EXERCISE AND PRACTICES THAT HELP CENTER AND CALM YOU: Taking care of our physical and mental health has far-reaching positive impacts, including providing us the fuel and stamina to achieve our goals. Any small commitment in this area will help you manage your glucose levels, which will support your ability to self-regulate during the day.
PRINCIPLE #6: Create Support Structures to Stay on Track
Support structures can be images, reminders, and processes that can help keep us on track in maintaining self-discipline. For example, For some people, always they eat more healthy when they go to the grocery store and fill up their fridges with healthy, tasty fresh food. If there’s nothing in the fridge, guaranteed, they are heading to the closest fast food joint for a burger.
If you want to work out in the mornings, then maybe lay your clothes out at night. Find inspirational songs, quotes and other symbols and post them in strategic areas in your home or office. Set your mobile phone alarm to remind you to leave the office, or create a calendar appointment each week to head to the gym.
Structures are personalized - created by you, for you and customized to the way you work. They’re meant to jog your neurons and remind you of what’s important to you.
CONTEXT AS STRUCTURE: Another quasi-structure is to consciously control where you go in order to support your goals. It’s important to avoid putting yourself into compromising situations, and rather put yourself in supportive environments. People who have self-control deliberately organize their lives so that they are supporting the achievement of their priorities and goals. If you’re looking to cut down your drinking, don’t meet friends in bars, meet them at the gym or in a café, or at your home. Structures can merely be ways to either encourage yourself to do things, or avoid doing certain things.
PEOPLE AS STRUCTURES: Another key support structure is people – people are probably the most powerful supports you can put in place. You know the expression, birds of a feather flock together? Over time, you end up being like who you’re surrounded with.
Martin Seligman, Malcolm Gladwell and others have researched this area and found that a person’s character is highly susceptible to the environment. In fact, the influence of people and the environment will trump character every time. For example, a person on a diet goes out for dinner with friends and yet still wants to eat healthy. They may think they’re the most strong-willed person in the world. But it the friends order the person’s favorite dessert, their mettle may be seriously tested. This is why it’s so important to actively seek out people and environments that are conducive to your goals and to where you want to be. We may think we’re tough, but in fact, we’re extremely malleable, and it’s better to be on the offense than the defense. Join talent hubs. Surround yourself with people who inspire and encourage you to grow. Limit the people who don’t. If you want to become a better leader, then surround yourself with others who want the same, find a mentor, get training and socialize with other leaders. If you want to start a business, find a community where you can share as you grow. Being a part of professional associations is a great way to connect with like minded people who can challenge and support you along the way. The people you choose to surround yourself with are very powerful in shaping your future.
Take-Away #6 – BUILD IN STRUCTURES THAT SUPPORT YOU IN ACHIEVING YOUR GOAL: Support structures are the anchors that keep you on track on a day to day basis. Support structures can include reminders and motivating sensory cues, the choice of environments we inhabit, and the people with whom we choose to spend our time. Reflect on what structures will facilitate your goal achievement and fold them into your plan.
PRINCIPLE #7: Focus on One Small Step at a Time, Then Move to the Next
Remember when we talked about ego depletion, we saw that the more
choices we make that are unimportant, the less capacity we have to make important choices. The reason why most people struggle to stick to their goals is that they set the bar way too high, they get overwhelmed and discouraged, and then quit before they see any results. It is absolutely critical, if we want to increase our chances of success, to limit what we focus on. That way, we’ll have more energy for the goals we have.
Here are some wonderful quotes by leaders…
“You've got to be super focused like a laser to get anything worthwhile done. When I did Avatar I was focused for 4 years”. - James Cameron film maker : Avatar, Titanic
“You should focus on one important goal and you need to be pretty single minded about it”. - Larry Page, co founder, Google
“When asked about the secret of his success, he said, "a fanatical focus on doing one thing well “ - Tom Monoghan, founder of Domino's Pizza
“If you want to be a software company you have to be only a software company, you can't dabble in other things.” - Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft
Take-Away #7 – ADOPT A LASER FOCUS: Focus allows us to channel our efforts into a specific direction, which is a more economical way to manage our limited energy. The more we focus the more we increase our chances of achieving success. Focus on one small step, master it, and then take another small step toward your goal.
PRINCIPLE #8: Build a Gradual Plan Over Time
We have less chance of success if we make our goals so ambitious that they’re out of reach. We have a better chance of achieving our goals if we start small, gain some small wins and confidence, and slowly work our way. If you’re learning how to be a good public speaker, start by rehearsing in front of a few friends or loved ones you trust. Rehearse in small groups of strangers, practice in front of a mirror. Test things out in low risk environments. Then you can gradually work your way to a full room, and then larger and larger groups. These small wins will allow you to hone your craft and work up your confidence.
Take-Away #8 – BUILD A STEADY, GRADUAL PLAN: Just like merging onto a highway, building a steady, gradual plan that progressively increases momentum has a greater chance of sustainability and success than abrupt, jerky and impulsive efforts.
PRINCIPLE #9: Don’t get Discouraged by Setbacks – Develop a Growth Mindset
A ‘growth mindset’ is a term coined by Carol Dweck, a renowned professor who taught at Columbia University, Harvard University, and the University of Illinois before joining the Stanford University in 2004. Her research concurs with Angela Lee Duckworth - intelligence is not a key indicator of success. She believes that success depends on whether or not an individual has a growth mindset. There are fixed mindsets and growth mindsets. Having a fixed mindset means that a person believes their basic intelligence is a fixed trait – they only have so much, and that’s it. This makes a person highly concerned with how much intelligence they have. They therefore base their activities on this limited capacity. Others understand that their intelligence is something they can develop throughout the course of their life, through passion, studying and education. They understand that their brain is like a muscle and gets stronger with use, that every time they learn something their brain forms new connections, and over time they can increase their intellectual skill.
No one laughs at babies, thinking how dumb they are for not knowing. We understand that they just haven’t learned yet. This is what it means to have a growth mindset. Studies show that people with a growth mindset are more successful than people with a fixed mindset. The difference between winning and losing is what you do with mistakes – do you have the resilience to reflect on what you learned, then pick yourself up, dust yourself off and recommit with that new learning, or do you ruminate or just give up. The premise of a growth mindset is that failure is NOT a permanent condition. People with a growth mindset go around the world wanting to learn, versus going around the world wanting to be smart.
Take-Away #9 – CHOOSE A GROWTH MINDSET OVER A FIXED ONE: When we adopt a growth mindset, we look at setbacks as a natural part of our journey toward reaching our full potential. We understand that mistakes are a part of the process, learn from them, and move forward to the next level, with greater clarity and wisdom than before. A growth mindset gives us the resilience we need to reach our most ambitious goals and dreams. Ask yourself how you can cope when you have a setback. Create a plan that allows you to manage your thinking when this inevitably happens.